“If I didn’t know better, I’d swear we have met before.  I’m feeling comfortable with your proposal. I trust you.”

If you know how to connect with people and communicate in a method that resonates with their perceptual filters, you will often hear statements like that from your clients time and time again.

If you don’t fully recognise where a customer is coming from, how they communicate with the world and what are their key reasons for making a decision is it will be difficult for you to not only connect with them but shift into the position you want of a trusted advisor.

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As an entrepreneur or business leader understanding at least the basics of deciphering perceptions will give you unmatched tools and insights.

A model of providing extraordinary customer service was explained well in a book I’d recommend titled ‘Slippers – What the plumber taught the mayor about business’ by Mark Blumsky. The book provides a superb example of how to guarantee your customer has a 10 out of 10 experience each and every time you interact with them.  Mark explained how he had created ten actions or techniques that went the extra mile to provide a memorable sales experience for his customers.

He discovered when his staff were focussed on the 10 out of 10 initiative and not the sale, they were more confident and more positive and their customers had a much more fun.  The programme guaranteed the customer or prospect received a memorable experience that they would tell others about and return themselves.

How can you add that 10 out of 10 encounter with prospects and clients in your business?  I’ve applied this concept to a number of the businesses I’ve worked in to create excellent customer service experiences and each time have been rewarded with dedicated clients who have become my greatest advocates.

Conversely, if even a small part of the experience is not to their liking, you can lose customers.  If you don’t deliver on what you promise, if your product isn’t up to scratch, if it’s difficult to find parking, if delivery takes too long, if you have bad breath – it will sway your customers’ perceptions of the value your product or service offers. Read More in my Book Good Girls Do Sell

You can build this level of connection by matching and pacing. Anything you can identify, you can pace match or mirror.

  • The speed someone moves
  • Their postures
  • The size of their gestures
  • The rate of their breath
  • The rhythm of speech
  • The tonality, timber, pitch of voice
  • Tempo and intensity of speech
  • The words they use

By employing the right techniques to authentically build rapport, with practice you will learn to recognise how best to connect with your clients and to view the world from their perspective.


  1. People feel comfortable with those they trust and respect
  2. To see the world from your customers point of view
  3. To practice identifying what you can pace, match or mirror

There is only one boss. The customer. And he can fire everybody in the company from the chairman on down, simply by spending his money somewhere else.”… Sam Walton


Best wishes till next time.

Author of Good Girls do Sell – The Modern Business Woman’s Guide to Authentic Selling”

P.S. To learn more about deleting ‘should’ from
your vocabulary register for this workshop

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